Posted by: Ele Quigan | August 7, 2010

‘He’s just not into you’ Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

We have a bit of a random thing happening in the apartment block I live in, apart from passive aggressive notes on the available whiteboard – people have started putting random things on the top of the letter boxes to give away. I saw the twilight series there once, laughed and walked on (I considered rereading another time to put together a scathing review, but as so many better bloggers had beat me to it I would far rather spend those reading hours finishing something new). Next it was a DVD player. Then is was the above book – ‘He’s just not into you’…

I never watched Sex and the City so the concept of ‘dating’ was never very familiar. I’ve had a couple of people break my heart in my life but never really worried about it too much (benefit of hindsight right?) as it was always going to work out sometime… Now that I’m settled, I don’t need to worry about trying to meet someone, which is a lot bloody harder than you think!

To cut a veryvery long relationship story into a single sentence – my current boyfriend and I had a bit of an on/off relationship for a while, that eventually ended in him moving to the UK – and with the happy ending of me jumping on a plane to join him 2 years later… And what did I watch on the plane the way over? “He’s just not into you”.

The movie wasn’t so bad – Scarlett Johanssen, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston and random blue eyed gorgeous man Bradley Cooper (the new Matt McConaughey – he was also in The Hangover) but it was not the movie to watch on the flight over to see your boyfriend who you hadn’t seen for a few months, and put a small dent in the dreams of ‘living happily ever after’.

So what the hell was I thinking when I picked the novel off the postboxes – thinking that it would be some light non-fiction that I could laugh at – until I got halfway through to the questions about ‘your future’…

Chapter 7 He’s just not into if he doesn’t want to marry you

The very word ‘marriage’ makes my boyfriend tune out, walk away, change the subject… Like most men I guess? You know, marriage is that thing that girls want for saftey, security and for their own self esteem? so when men turn off and tune out about marriage they still want it right? Actually no… According to HJNIY (shortened title), and most particularly when I got to the ‘I’m just not ready’ section within the chapter (I’ve heard that ‘excuse’ for years…)

I started to panic.

Reading the last sentence of the chapter over and over ‘So how bout you stop waiting – and start looking for that guy who can’t wait to love you’ it echoed around the confines of my head and doubt started creeping in…

What if I’m not the one, what if I’ve made the wrong decision, what the hell am I doing? Culminating in a very (hilarious) but actually quite stressful conversation with my boyfriend that started with “so you know that book I picked up…”
A very typical example of my brain running away with itself (I have a tendency to overthink things. And that’s putting it mildly) – though a bit perturbed, my boyfriend still saw the funny side. And promised that he does want to marry me someday, and that I should stop reading so much cause it puts ridiculous thoughts in my head.

He’s not wrong.

So what did I think? The book in general is interesting, I could feel the general inherent female ‘but he’s not really like that’ indignation throughout every story and comment. And spotted some of my own experiences in there (and potentially some of my friends experiences as well). I think it would have been beneficial to read when I was ‘on the dating scene’ a few years back – and probably shouldn’t have read it while happy within my own relationship…


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